Exit 5 - Shhh

So I don't really have much to say tonight, but I wanted to write something down just to keep the habit of placing my thoughts on the virtual paper. Over the course of the day today, I had a couple of revelations that made me feel quite good about my life. I don't really know why I have labeled them revelations because they are truths that I have already known. Have you ever had a moment though when a thought pops into your mind, be it new or old, and it somehow appears bright and clear? If it is a new thought, we call it an epiphany. If it's some familiar thought, the patina of time has somehow been washed away to reveal the truth once more.

Well, I had several of these come back to me today. Early in the morning, a friend of mine was talking about how he really loves his mother. I then thought, you know what?...I really love my mother. I have never met a person that is more thoughtful and selfless than she is. Thinking about her made me really thankful that I simply know her. The fact that I am her son is just a perk, really. She is a fine lady...a true lady. It seems completely unfair that there are so many people who have not had someone like her protecting, teaching and loving them. This is another one of mother nature's inequities that seems so completely unfair. I realized that I could not have asked for any better blessing.

Secondly, I realized how important my friend, Larry, is to me. That's not to say that I don't have other friends that are important to me, or that I don't realize what they mean to me, but Larry gets the cupcake today. While texting with him today, it was so obvious how much he cares about me. He truly cares about my well-being and my growth. I haven't been the easiest person to be around lately, but he has never faltered in his attempts to hang with me and he has continuously and tirelessly been my cheerleader. It is just really nice to know that even when the times seem dark that there are those who will walk in the dark with you.

I don't know that any of these thoughts were life-altering, but they definitely made my day better. Thinking about them also made me hope that I somehow return those feelings of love and safety. I think that's one of the greatest gifts you can give someone.

One other thought that I have been mulling over for the past couple of days came about when I was sitting on the bus on my way to work last Friday. It became apparent, and I'm not sure how or why, but I realized I walk around with a chip on my shoulder; expecting people to get out of my way, and basically looking at them with a critical and judging eye. Then I thought about all the energy I put into judging and criticizing other people. Did the serve any purpose? Did that somehow make me a better person? Did that make me feel better about myself. The answer to all three of those questions was a resounding "no." So, I decided that instead of being mad at strangers or finding fault in their appearances and actions, I would try to find compassion for those people...for all people. I would take myself out of the equation of their lives. We are all just people trying to do the best we can in this world that is constantly trying to break us down. I have caught myself going back to my bad habits, but I have been able to stop those negative thoughts...and it's all because it is something I am aware of now.

Being aware is a pretty powerful tool.